Conquer Shyness

HEALTH IS WEALTH
“They can conquer who believe they can.” – Virgil

It is a common observation that a lot of Filipinos suffer from shyness a great part of their lives. This particular trait if not treated early enough will definitely rob one of the qualities of life in an extremely social world. Shy people generally, see themselves as inhibited, unfriendly, awkward, less physically active, and incompetent. People in society perceived them as withdrawn, not interested, or just plain snobbish or aloof simply because they do not know what to say in social situations.

Shy people have a feeling that others are staring at them all the time, thinking that they are ugly or stupid, etc. And this hidden negative attitude would make them unable to talk, or of being tongue-tied, and they want to run and hide or feel they are going to faint.

Shyness is synonyms to bashfulness or timidity. They always sit at the farthest end or in a corner. In group discussions, they are non-participant and the most silent. The typical behavioral signs of shyness include: overly conscious of self, inability to make speeches, reluctance to talk, avoidance of eye contact, difficulty in volunteering, presents a nervous habit (touching one’s hair or face).

The common clinical symptoms of shyness are: rapid heartbeat, perspiration, dry mouth, blushing or pallor of skin, trembling or shaking, butterflies in the stomach, and feels like fainting.

What makes a person shy? Studies show factors which include: a physical disfigurement problem or handicapping features like cross-eyed, harelip, impaired front teeth, darkskinned, speech defect, hearing impairment, poorly clothed, short stature, or have described all the time as an “ugly duckling”.

Some psychological causes are: a history of being abused as a child, born of parents who are extremely withdrawn and inferior, raised by nervous parents, experienced a very traumatic situation or of being shamed in class or public, being laughed at and unreasonably punished for a minor offense, ridiculed or teased by people in the past, etc. Treatment for shyness is very crucial because if it is not treated early it will lead to a more serious psychological disorder termed as “social phobia” which is a more difficult disorder to manage.

One of the most effective management used by psychiatrist, is the Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). The therapist will help the client work towards the goal of changing his incorrect perceptions into a rational and accurate thinking.

Shyness is curable. Don’t give up. Be confident and keep saying, “Kayang-kaya ko ito, pare!